Corporate Factotum

I rarely eat salad, but one time, I felt like I needed to eat more.  So I ate one every day for 4 days.  On Day 4, I was unable to fart because every time I needed to fart, this green grass liquid would leak out of my asshole.  I nearly shat myself every time I thought I had to fart.  It was annoying.  I wished I could just fart and get that feeling out of my asshole but I didn’t want to shoot green grass all over my legs.  It sucked.  So I stopped eating salad.